Self-Acceptance and Confidence

[johnyandell]

Let's get your thoughts on Ben Loeb's article, "Self-Acceptance and Confidence"

[arturohernandez]

I really like the idea of creating a programmatic way to be the best we can be. It is very difficult to achieve as the mind is filled with doubts and fears about almost everything. These are really good because without them we would not survive.

The tricky part is learning to use everything to our advantage. Ben Loeb does a service not just to our tennis but to our youth in general.

[benloeb]

Thank you for your nice comments on the articles. I think we too often get in our own way with negative thoughts or thoughts of doubt. Sometimes you have to be your own best friend out there in the competitive arena. These skills are transferable over to life in general.Think of how you deal with rejection or being judged differently than how you want others to see you. Remember, what's most important is how you see yourself. See yourself as capable. If you have this perspective, you will save yourself a lot of aggravation in life on and off the tennis court. 1

[stotty]

There seems to be many ways of looking at the mental obstacles in tennis. I once hired a sports psychologist to address a dozen performance juniors and their parents. He said one thing that resonated with everyone in the room: "What you see is what you get". It's very true. If you think you are playing badly, you will continue to play badly. If you think you're going to lose, you will lose. He also said the easiest thing to reach for on a tennis court is an excuse. I made him right.

I can certainly identify with Ben, the author of the article. I never really enjoyed playing matches when I was young. The only enjoyment was shaking hands if I had won. It all meant too much and I was always way too tense in matches. That changed as I got older and other things took higher priority in life, tennis then became a game to really enjoy. I wish I had my attitude now when I was young. I would have won way more matches and would have enjoyed the process, win or lose, also.

[Error]

My daughter just lost a college match against an opponent that she "thought" was strong. This opponent gave the former number one on my daughters team a really tough match last season. My daughter is now the number one and was nervous about going up against her. All she could think about was " this girl really knows how to play" based on her recollection from the previous year.

Well my daughter played horribly and lost. So without telling my her I wanted to see how good this girl was so I looked up her you UTR, Now get this,, my daughter is 4-1 so for in her conference, this was the first match she's lost. Well I looked up all of her opponents,some of which she beat 1 and 2.. and the girl she just lost to, the one that was supposed to be the strongest ( according to my daughter) had a LOWER UTR than all four players she beat previous to this match.. My daughter worked herself up so much worrying about this girl that she couldn't see what was in front of her face. Couldn't see what others could see. She couldn't see the reality. She created her own realty and in her world she didn't have a chance. The following day she went 5-5 in a practice set against a former college student (male) who was a UTR 11.5 last year.. You want to talk about match play vs practice? My heart goes out to everyone who struggles.

[nytennisaddict]

My daughter just lost a college match against an opponent that she "thought" was strong. This opponent gave the former number one on my daughters team a really tough match last season. My daughter is now the number one and was nervous about going up against her. All she could think about was " this girl really knows how to play" based on her recollection from the previous year.

Well my daughter played horribly and lost. So without telling my her I wanted to see how good this girl was so I looked up her you UTR, Now get this,, my daughter is 4-1 so for in her conference, this was the first match she's lost. Well I looked up all of her opponents,some of which she beat 1 and 2.. and the girl she just lost to, the one that was supposed to be the strongest ( according to my daughter) had a LOWER UTR than all four players she beat previous to this match.. My daughter worked herself up so much worrying about this girl that she couldn't see what was in front of her face. Couldn't see what others could see. She couldn't see the reality. She created her own realty and in her world she didn't have a chance. The following day she went 5-5 in a practice set against a former college student (male) who was a UTR 11.5 last year.. You want to talk about match play vs practice? My heart goes out to everyone who struggles.

nice.
utr, ntrp, etc... just approximations... +/-1 utr usually competitively "even", and comes down to style matchups and smart focused play of the day (and who's playing at 100% capacity that day - seems everyone in tennis is always playing with some kind of injury/fatigue/outside stress/etc...).

for me, my level of confidence sorta defines the scope of things i can focus on.. i feel when i'm confident i can start thinking multiple steps ahead... "serve out wide, run around bh, fh to open court... wait for short ball, attack the net, etc..."
but when i'm not confident (eg. 1 or more strokes not working for me; or maybe my opponent is not letting me hit the shots i want to hit), my focus becomes very narrow...
* just focus on toss for serve.
* "bounce hit"
* happy feet, move move move,.. get every ball back, make my opponent work
etc...

in the extreme case i become the ultimate retriever/moonballer... and my only goal becomes to hit as many balls as i can in a row... 10 if i can... everything high and deep, and cross court. the idea is that if i'm gonna get my butt kicked anyway, either because i'm not playing well, or my opponent is not letting me play well, i might as well make this into a really challenging practice sesson maximizing volume of balls hit.

[seano]

Error -

Your daughters match sounds like a case of "The Black Door". It's a story I heard long ago from Coach Chuck Kriese (former Clemson coach, author of several books). It's a story about overcoming fear.

A spy has been captured and is in front of a firing squad. The general in charge gives the spy a choice, die by firing squad or take what's behind the "black door". The spy asks "What's behind the black door", the general says I can't tell you. The spy starts to imagining all these grotesque ways of dying and finally decides to be executed by firing squad. Afterwards the spy is killed, a Lieutenant asks the General what's behind the black door? The General says "Freedom" but I've yet to have anyone choose that option. The line to remember and the moral of the story is "People would prefer a death they're comfortable with, instead of experiencing the unknown."

SeanO

[Error]

nice.
utr, ntrp, etc... just approximations... +/-1 utr usually competitively "even", and comes down to style matchups and smart focused play of the day (and who's playing at 100% capacity that day - seems everyone in tennis is always playing with some kind of injury/fatigue/outside stress/etc...).

According to the UTR blog a single level difference is enough to predict the winner 97% of the time. Only in 3% of the matches does a player beat another with a UTR one full level higher. This pans out in all of the players I know. My daughter's friend was the number one 18 year old male in NY state last year, a UTR 13, and he beats all the 12s, some of the 13s and none of the 14s.

[Error]

Error -

Your daughters match sounds like a case of "The Black Door". It's a story I heard long ago from Coach Chuck Kriese (former Clemson coach, author of several books). It's a story about overcoming fear.

A spy has been captured and is in front of a firing squad. The general in charge gives the spy a choice, die by firing squad or take what's behind the "black door". The spy asks "What's behind the black door", the general says I can't tell you. The spy starts to imagining all these grotesque ways of dying and finally decides to be executed by firing squad. Afterwards the spy is killed, a Lieutenant asks the General what's behind the black door? The General says "Freedom" but I've yet to have anyone choose that option. The line to remember and the moral of the story is "People would prefer a death they're comfortable with, instead of experiencing the unknown."

SeanO

I'll have to tell her that one.!.. Thanks.

[nytennisaddict]

According to the UTR blog a single level difference is enough to predict the winner 97% of the time. Only in 3% of the matches does a player beat another with a UTR one full level higher. This pans out in all of the players I know. My daughter's friend was the number one 18 year old male in NY state last year, a UTR 13, and he beats all the 12s, some of the 13s and none of the 14s.

good point. i was also taking into account the volatility of the utr algos...
when i first appeared in utr (pulled from usta match data), i was a utr7.3...
but over time, i was recalculated up to utr9.1...
it seems i've settled to around utr8.5

but perhaps against actively playing juniors (lots of match data), perhaps that # is much more consistent.

[Error]

good point. i was also taking into account the volatility of the utr algos...
when i first appeared in utr (pulled from usta match data), i was a utr7.3...
but over time, i was recalculated up to utr9.1...
it seems i've settled to around utr8.5

but perhaps against actively playing juniors (lots of match data), perhaps that # is much more consistent.

The number goes down fast with inactivity. I know a young guy who plays one tournament a year in NY and depending on who he plays he might make it 2-3 rds and when he's done his UTR is a 12+. But following that he doesn't play so his UTR slowly goes all the way down to a 10.. which is absurd because he 0 and 0s every 10 he plays. So you have to play a lot of matches that count in order to get an accurate UTR. Even this guys younger brother who was number one in NY state goes way down when he doesn't play.

[nytennisaddict]

The number goes down fast with inactivity. I know a young guy who plays one tournament a year in NY and depending on who he plays he might make it 2-3 rds and when he's done his UTR is a 12+. But following that he doesn't play so his UTR slowly goes all the way down to a 10.. which is absurd because he 0 and 0s every 10 he plays. So you have to play a lot of matches that count in order to get an accurate UTR. Even this guys younger brother who was number one in NY state goes way down when he doesn't play.

oh, that's interesting... so when i got my rating of 9.1, it was mainly off the results of the 1-2 singles tourneys i play a year (mostly play dubs during usta season) didn't realize the half-life of your utr rating is so low. hehe, i guess by the time i get back to playing singles tourneys (summer), i'lL be back down to utr7 again

are you in NY? i'm in the burbs of nyc.