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My Fast-Track Way To Stay On The Ball, Just Like Roger Federer

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  • My Fast-Track Way To Stay On The Ball, Just Like Roger Federer

    Are you fed up with pulling off your shots, trying to see where they will go, maybe before the ball is even struck? I was. Until I came up with my orthopedic Neck Bracer idea, that is.

    I was inspired by Tracy Austin's TV commercials for the Arm Bracket, just as I had been by Brad Gilbert's ads for the Wrist Assist, and developed my Fast Track to the Straight-Arm Soderling Forehand.

    Here is the TV commercial script I am now drafting:

    "Have you ever wished you could hold your head up as long as Roger Federer does when he serves, just once! -- until well after your winner is cleanly struck and you have won the point? Don't you wish you could control your neck muscles as faultlessly as that? Well, you can do it. With my Neck Bracer, you will keep your nose up in the sky for that additional, vital second. Boris Becker used to call it keeping your nose up in the sky, and that is what you'll feel. You won't have any choice. And, it's great for groundies, too! Just decide where you want the ball to go and rip it. The only way you'll be able to turn your head is to turn your entire CORE into the shot. You'll soon be driving ropes across the net like DelPotro. Your groundies will become so good, you'll probably start turning your head to admire your shots. That's when you'll have to start using the Neck Bracer again, just for half an hour, in the privacy of your own backyard. It will be the best $39.95, plus $6 handling, you've ever spent! Don't be lured into buying one of those cheap neck braces they put on dogs to prevent them from scratching their infected ears."
    Last edited by ochi; 12-06-2009, 02:14 PM. Reason: minor

  • #2
    too funny

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