A New Year's Serve

[bottle]

Comfort, Slam and Moonball

At the DSO (Detroit Symphony Orchestra) Leonard Slatkin puts the violas here where the violins used to be and vice-versa.

"You're thinking too much, Maestro," a tennis player might say. "Soon there's going to be paralysis by analysis."

No, it's just that the different orchestration works better for this particular Brahms piece and the change even has historical precedent which Maestro Slatkin surely knows but doesn't want to tell the audience. Or maybe he did, yes I guess he did.

The word "orchestration" of course can apply to what instruments are on the stage as well as their placement.

Of the three forehands I've been working on, one is for comfort and a certain weight that causes certain players to overhit.

The Agassi-But-Me and Federfore cross is a spinnier shot with more clearance, Robert Lansdorp's "academic ball."

In the third shot, a ping-pong slam on which I'll work through self-feed today, there is keying of bent arm before a ripping hit and followthrough up over the opposite shoulder yoke.

What should the mondo for this shot be? About one third the size of that in the Agassi-Federfore, i.e., wrist will react back but the great forearm roll that takes racket tip from one side fence to the other will be gone.

The comfort shot I mentioned, my McEnrueful, employs no mondo whatsoever and is just a big body sweep in which aeronautically the hitting shoulder banks down and then up.

Can such a weird orchestration be tolerated by one's nerves, with torso turn start immediate (The Slanted McEnrueful) but fractionally delayed in the other two upright postured shots?

Only if all three shots are practiced as a unit. Then, the stark differences among them may facilitate assimilation until each individual shot emerges as a real man and marine just out of boot camp.

[bottle]

handbodhandbod or handcorehandcore-- Vote for One

What, reader, you say you don't believe in either? I know what you mean. I have two shots that employ conventional notions of unit turn in that the body rotates from the outset. I like them both fine-- my McEnrueful, a forehand, and my slice, a backhand-- I never will change them.

But I'm working on other more shifty-eyed shots too. "Unit turn," it seems to me, clearly means that racket and feet and hips and shoulders and probably anything else you can think of rotate all at once.

In most of the models which are shown to us we see the hand being held still by opposite hand on racket throat. I'm glad to have already violated that principle in an effort to develop a "handsier" game like that of Dennis Ralston, John McEnroe, Jimmy Connors, Tracy Austin and Chris Evert.

The proposed shots take things to a different level: Now the hand and shifty eyes and perhaps the outside foot will initiate the backswing. The hand again will initiate the foreswing.

Accept this or don't, reader-- I will respect you in either case. If you do buy the new design, though, then vote: handcorehandcore is closer to standard English but handbodhandbod is more in the frequently superior pre-verbal tennis bag. Inchoate noises jumping out at the camera is best during one's Bag Check.

In addition, handcore sounds like hardcore, handbod like handjob so take your pick.

[bottle]

Good New Forehand Tested in Competition and Noted by Another Player

I stick to my view that any little tweak makes for an entirely new shot since any stroke is a cycle in which everything affects everything else.

There is more than one new tweak in this shot; first, the player becomes more still-headed and shifty-eyed.

Could one take hands to side in tandem with shift in the eyes? Probably. More likely though the eyes will shift at the speed they want.

The hands start the backswing, the shoulders turn next. This backswing sequence takes no more time than its opposite, (body-arm), which is the way most people are taught

The hand starts the foreswing (but how!?), the shoulders turn next.

Here's how the hand starts the foreswing. By keying (KEE-YING). That means elbow stays back as the forearm turns into its best pushing position.

Posture meanwhile is erect with weight on back foot. One saves this weight for one big push which will be a combination of pivot and throw of the elbow straight ahead and up and over the opposite shoulder. (This is a bent arm shot all the way.)

The backswing, despite any description here, is one smooth motion.

The foreswing, similarly, is smooth, fast and powerful.

Any step-out can happen late as part of the final pivot. But if foot already is down it can be with heel up. This keeps weight back for longer. Now the pivot drives the foot flat as one hits the ball.

Note: Elbow can move out from body as part of the first half of the backswing, in fact must do this to make this shot work right. Elbow placement away from body does not negatively affect the later keying move although it may take someone several decades to realize this.

[bottle]

Next Up with BAM forehand which used to be "Bam Bam" before the Two Bams Coalesced

Unlike in the previous post, this is drawing board stuff that might or not work.

For a see see eliminate backward shoulders turn-- that should buy time.

But do shift hands to right as usual. Now key the racket around to outer edge of ball before lifting the hand to desired followthrough of back of hand against one's neck.

I thought also of keying while shifting weight forward. But this would separate key and rip rather than keep them together as a single unit to provide enough topspin.

So one half-backswings while getting weight on front foot followed by the bam (!). "Rules were made to be broken by those who know them."

[bottle]

A Slower Backswing in the See See of Post # 2989 ?

The backswing is half as long as for a normal forehand hit for pace and depth.

Why then shouldn't the timing of this half-backswing be twice as long to keep everything consistent with the rest of your game?

Depends I suppose on whether in billiards you would be an elastic backswing or dead stick backswing devotee.

If deadstick you take the racket to side and stop it as if you are about to hit a volley.

Of course, after your first see see (let us postulate that it was successful) your perceptive opponent would know your intention and take off toward your target close to the net. But that might happen anyway since backswing for this shot is half as long.

For now I'll stay open to either backswing tactic.

[don_budge]

Sleepwalking…writing

You really are working on this stuff in your sleep…as rumoured in certain circles. Zzzzzz…

[bottle]

handbodhandbod! my brothers and my sisters-- a New Bent-Arm Backhand

"But bent-arm backhands aren't any good," you (my reader) say. "And without a loop your one-hander won't be first rate."

To which I reply, "Listen, your name may be Eliot Teltscher but mine is John Escher, and what is good for the goose is good for the gander, and if something works on the forehand it will work on the backhand."

"Whatever you say, boss."

"Every instructor decries a bent arm one-hander. But let us deconstruct their captious criticism. Did every instructor put a keylime pie in the middle of the design-- of course not. They never thought of it. Was beyond their range of familiarity."

"Stop speaking Swahili."

"Keeeeeeeee-YING. As in a bammy farm gate forehand."

"Lost me."

"People used to say that Vic Braden with his sit-and-hit would be the death of your tennis, but now I think Peter Burwash was the real villain with all of his early putting of weight on the front foot."

"Okay, you keep weight on rear foot for longer. What else."

"You fire flying grip change slightly to the outside. You bring the racket behind you with a combination of scapular adduction and warlock-like turning of your shoulders under your chin not to mention a tentative step-out at the same time."

"Tentative! How can that be good?"

"It keeps weight on rear foot longer. You just test the water with your toes and bring heel down late."

"Ahhhh get out of here."

"You key the bent arm around. To hit the ball you clench your shoulderblades together but does your arm stop? Of course not. And both arms go out at the same speed. But both stay bent. And only move a short distance. Like the pronounced but minimalist arm work in Braden's own backhand called very good by Vic Seixas who hated the rest of the for him in their one match defeatable Braden game. With thumb diagonally across the flat of the handle just like Braden. With a magic marker's cross on pad of the thumb. With that cross moving straight at the target as you sing 'Onward Christian Soldiers.' With any excess of energy arcing the racket up to form the roof of a tent."

"And then you wait for a lion to sniff the tent. You actually tried this?"

"Of course not. A dermatologist just took a pound of flesh from my right shoulder yoke. As the very sexy receptionist for the Northern Virginia Daily used to say, 'The playground is closed for repairs.'

"One other thing though. As you perform your scapular retraction you can also rise from front foot or not as you choose.

"Remember, Elyot, teaching pros are innocent persons. They don't understand that lifting of the head from the knees and body qualifies as moving the head. They just tell you to keep your head still. On the other hand, if you do extend the whole body you perform Alexander Technique.

"It's always good to be Alexander the Great. Who can argue against a libidinous full body erection early in the morn?"

[bottle]

Bam Forehand, Bam Backhand

handbodhandbod, handbodhandbod, 1-2, 1-2 . Backhand, forehand, backhand forehand but recover! None of it good if you don't recover! Bam, bam-- like this. That's it. Balance! Now some farther away. handbod is the sequence. Hey, how far do you have to push your hands to the side for the forehand? That's right. Not much if you then get the good turn. But there's a range.

[bottle]

Imaginary Backhand, Cont'd

Doctor: No play a few more days. Instead of saying "I can hit a golf ball 275 feet-- the polls are all in my favor" say "Does it matter if the new backhand is soft when I first take it out on the court? I have a pretty good one-hander after all. It has a loop and waterfall built in, an early straight arm and late roll-over-- could have been designed by Frank Lloyd Wright himself."

It's just a bit willowy. So I doubt that, characteristically, I hit the ball perfectly clean. Who needs the real or the imaginary really-- not if the game is doubles and one can slice. My long arm one hander is apt to be picked off in a way that the slice never is.

And so, within handbodhandbod prescription, we key the racket tip around on bent arm held out. How far around? Just far enough so that when the elbow releases combined with shoulderblades clench the strings go perfectly straight.

Which edge of the ball did you hit? I repeat, the strings go straight. The upper arm roll is over by the time one hits the ball with a BAM!

Is contact clean? Fire the flying grip change in subtly different directions until it is.

[bottle]

Coxswain and Teaching Pro Patter

handbodhandbod, handbodhandbod, 1-2, 1-2 . Backhand, forehand, backhand forehand but recover! None of it good if you don't recover! Bam, bam-- like this. That's it. Balance! Now some farther away. handbod is the sequence. Hey, how far you have to push your hands to the side for the forehand? That's right. Not much if you then get the good turn. But there's a range.

Your patter, my fellow teaching pros, is not the same as mine or anyone else's, one would hope. We ought to value individuality, we really should, even when we have an Orca whale affecting individualism running for president.

An Orca whale of course-- it has been well documented-- would as lief bite any human being in two as not. Reader, you can nominate him if you want. We persons on the other side will thank you when we therefore regain the Senate and the House.

In the meantime we will use our own exhortatory skills so similar to those of a coxswain in some eight-oared crew.

When I was the head rowing coach at Skidmore College and before that West Virginia University, I used to spend three times as much effort in recruiting a good coxswain as any huge hulk of an oarsman or oarswoman.

A coxswain is one's surrogate coach but along for the Nantucket sleigh ride that is any crew race.

Our own coxswain-- Richard MacKenzie nicknamed "Mouse"-- was unbelievably good as diagnostician and remedialist. But when I, in the middle of the boat at # 4 for all four years of college, was tired and goofing off, Mouse would cry, "Bottle, your puddle is purple!"

In Herman Melville, specifically the novel MOBY DICK, there are three main coxswains, the one for whom a coffee chain is named, along with Stubb, Flask, and then when the contest is really tough, the one-legged Captain Ahab himself, with his specially picked harpoonist, Fedallah, in the bow.

Melville goes to great lengths to explain and present the differences in patter among these coxswains, while saying less about Ahab's style, which one can imagine is quiet yet effective.

My point is that any one of the four could be a great teaching pro in our sport, well aware that the timing of some remark is just as important as its content.

And as Bill Stowe explains in ALL TOGETHER, his memoir of the 1964 U.S. Olympic Gold Medal Crew, the coxswain, Bob Zimonyi, was Hungarian.

This had great value for a crew that was able to win the biggest race ever held, that one in every four years 1964 in Tokyo.

Zimonyi was considerably older than the next most seasoned member of that crew. His calmness and maturity (in fact, my Hungarian girlfriend Neli once told me, all Hungarian men, because of the grim weight of Hungarian history, seem more sapient than they frequently are) took the crew straight to the top.

But, as Stowe explains, the better the crew the less it needs its coxswain except to steer. The crew, in other words, exactly like whomever is number one tennis player in the world, becomes nidifugous.

A great advantage that the excitable gadfly Bob Zimonyi had was that in the heart of a race he was apt to scream only in Magyarul.

Nobody else in the boat knew Hungarian. So they didn't understand a word. They just won.

[bottle]

Seasoning of a Mental Shot

Another day of not being able to try out a new shot companion to one that most definitely has been vetted and does work.

Time then not to change the subject. Better to think more about both of these shots. We'll give them plainer names than usual: "the good shot" and "the maybe shot."

Where did the good shot come from? Would knowing its genesis strengthen the argument for it over all other known forehands for all genders and abilities and ages?

Clearly, it's designed for older players who can't move well, get tired soon, make more mistakes as a match wears on.

These truths lead either to retirement or more economy. But if one has come up with some shot that produces one's best result only with less effort, younger persons should try it too.

The good shot like any good shot is both new and not new. It probably is known to the desperate or commonsensical breed of service returners who have given themselves a hundred choices.

I was playing against the mayor of the town where we lived and two of his henchmen. All three were as politically conservative as I am progressive. Who made these pairings? Not I. I only know that if the words "good shot" got used, they were applied to one of the other three guys.

The mayor, a former starting tackle on the University of Virginia football team, served. He was mean as a snake. I remembered the time when I hadn't played for long and he drilled me at the net. And he had a very fast serve.

Just then the club champion walked past-- 6' 7", 220 lbs., 130 mph-- and shouted, "Nice shot, John Escher."

What had I done? Flopped racket down to my right and took one step. And that was all the shoulders turn there was in that shot, no unit turn followed by intricate arm work-- very simple arm work and then the step-out was the body turn.

If that kind of service return can work, why not apply some of its principles to one's larger ground game?

One needn't abandon one's mondo if one has a mondo, that is for sure. The arm placement then can be even more simple than on that day against the mayor. A limited push of racket to the right. Compare that to body first followed by the full swan dive of Juan Del Potro.

handbodhandbod. I am a shortstop keying my hand around. Elbow then takes off (the BAM!) of the shot. Back of hand finishes against left cheek.

[bottle]

Splish Splash I Was Taking A Bath...

Naw, I take showers. That's when I get any ideas I don't get when I am supposedly asleep.

Janet Leigh got murdered by Anthony Perkins while taking a shower at The Bates Motel. Menelaus got murdered by Clytemnestra while taking a bath. Likewise Marat by Charlotte Corday.

Baths, showers and bed-- where things really happen. For full enjoyment of design phase keep things liquid.

And so, if I said to keep elbow out, keep it in. But to whom do I speak? To myself of course. You, me, him, her, it-- what's the difference?

The shot here is a mystery backhand never struck by anybody. So how the hell can people generalize and judge it? If it's no good one can return to previous backhand, the shower over, the air cleared, the mist disappearing from one's mirror.

Arm is bent. Chickenwing, I know. But only if one leads with the elbow in order to be unsuccessful on purpose through not letting the racket do one's work.

We more ambitious persons, members of the handbodhandbod Army Division, key the racket head around.

Now, to bring off just one element of simultaneity here, we let the elbow go. But in what direction? Out. Toward net or side fence or both? Depends what the other elements do since goal is to make the racket travel straight. Can elbow going toward left fence balance off one's shoulderblades clench toward right fence to make the strings pinch straight? What if we add arm-straightening to the mix? Maybe yes maybe no but another possibility.

When for any reason one cannot play much less use a ball machine or self-feed one should keep things splishy, splashy, squishy and liquid.

[bottle]

A Filled Auditorium in Michigan

It's volleyball, just like tennis. The score is 20 to 13, with West Middle School the team behind.

My friend Maxine, who the week before missed both of her service attempts-- game difference-- is at the line.

She serves. 20-14, 20-15, 20-16, 20-17, 20-18, 20-19 at which point her grandmother, Hope, with whom I am having a fight, yells "Go, Maxine!"

So Maxine misses.

"You shouldn't have said that," I say.

"He blames me!" Hope says to her daughter.

I do.

[bottle]

Shoulder Yoke Recovered So Back to Self-Feed

Real forehand still works. Imaginary backhand works, too. I always thought that about the imagination, but in tennis stroke design you need either to know what you are doing or have incredible luck.

[bottle]

Signing the New Backhand

Reader, you might tell me not to sign the thing for all I know. "Bottle, your new shot will sink from the added weight of a signature engraved on every one of your racket throats."

Naw I'm going to sign not with words but with gesture. Tennis strokes are gesture. This will be just a little gesture at the end of the effective gesture and who knows might even improve balance.

Remember, this is a shot that has never been tried in the company of other human beings. But it works in self-feed. So it should work immediately when I play tomorrow just the way its twin on the forehand side did.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYmiffPMUho)

All right, into the narrative. We've brought the racket tip around with more leverage than twisting arm would if it were straight. Simple physics is the reason. The lever from elbow to racket tip in bent arm construction is longer than the lever from hand to racket tip in straight arm construction. Well, that's true if one wants to talk about twisting the upper arm. On backhand or forehand one can have a straight arm and twist it late to close strings in the contact area thus bringing joker factor in.

Arm rolling is good, I would say, adds racket head speed, but why not use it early to get it out of the way? Closed racket face can be opening when it hits the ball-- more controllable.

The gesture at end of the gesture now: Elbow goes out as scapulae rip to squeeze the strings straight. But arm is still bent. So straighten it. Then bend it again. This will feel comfortable. Behind, do a similar thing with the other arm. Or just go around with racket to standard Don Budge comfortable finish although you will have not had his straight arm before he bent it. Or maybe make a roof parallel to the sky (but that might be too mannered unless it works well). Haven't made a choice since haven't been to the park yet today.

But maybe you want to cut off followthrough for quick recovery. Again, keep the spreading arms bent. Up to you.