You Can Get There From Here: Part 2

[johnyandell]

Let's get your thoughts on Barry Buss' latest article, "You Can Get There From Here: Part 2"

[don_budge]

Let's get your thoughts on Barry Buss' latest article, "You Can Get There From Here: Part 2"

This is a very sad story. It is hard to see or expect that it will end well. Tennis can produce some great players and fewer great human beings. Most of all...it plays into the weaknesses and dysfunction of people. Barry had a whale of problem. Apparently a drug and alcohol problem that probably is somewhat obscured from the magnitude of the problem so far in the story. Then there are the expectations of other...parents and society. Drugs and alcohol fuel dysfunction. If a person is having difficulty choosing between making good decisions and using...there can be no good ending. The only good ending is quitting the abuse. But abuse is fueled by dysfunction. So it goes...around and around.

The tennis world is a most dysfunctional place. Particularly in those times...the early eighties. Late seventies even. There was the schizophrenic racquet and equipment change that was going on. Tennis even had the first trans person playing in their sport. The coaching relationships threw fuel on an already raging fire. This is an accident waiting to happen. JDC? Man...trying to fit into that box if your heart, brain and soul are not in it is an accident waiting to happen.

As interesting as this story is I was witnessing quite a different story around the same exact time and Barry mentions my boy Aaron Krickstein in his first part of the series. Aaron grew up in a similar situation and similar time but he had his father Herb Krickstein in his corner. Herb is one of the shrewdest and clever men that I have met in my life. He took me on as a friend of the family to play the part of an older brother to Aaron. Herb managed a whole family of exceptional performers and he orchestrated the entire process. When he decided that Aaron was going to the Nick Bowl of Cherries institute I was disappointed. But also very happy and very proud that Aaron was going to have an opportunity to perform on a bigger stage.

Missing from Aaron's experience was any doubts that his father was squarely in his corner. Missing was any kind of substance abuse as well. He was the most normal and well adjusted young man that a father could develop. At the end I gave Herb a copy of a Bill Tilden book that I had and also we had a discussion of his serve of all things. I was quite young still...but it was apparent to me that there was work to be done on the serve. Unfortunately Nick never got this addressed. I believe it could have made a difference.

I feel for Barry. I can sympathize with him as I know that period in time so well. The traps. The pitfalls. Well...they still exist today. Tennis is still a very weird world and a chemistry of player, coach and parent. Not to mention the other forces that are acting on people today. Dysfunction. To manage it is one of life's toughest lessons.

[don_budge]

This is a very compelling story. It leaves you anticipating the next part. Life is a good part managing your dysfunction. We all have it. All families have it. This story is exciting in this regard. I can relate.

[barrybuss]

Thanks Don for the thoughtful messages. A quick caveat. What happened to me occurred 40 years ago, where nobody in my life, teachers, coaches, parents, mentors knew much of anything about alcoholism, addiction, bipolar disorder or anything mental health related, and if they did, they sure weren't talking about it in my presence, so I'm left to give everyone a full pass back then. What drives my work today is what happens if I roll in to town today, all kinds of talent, all kinds of trouble, on and off the court. Are the programs and safeguards in place to keep young promising lives like mine from imploding so badly.

For that's the question I get asked the most at my speaking gigs. Was there anybody or anything available to me as a teen that could have altered my fated outcome? Which has led me to my next book and project, something I've deemed First Ball To Last, a mental health and wellness project addressed at preventing the onset of mental health and addiction in at risk teens like myself, for I'm absolutely certain if I had available to me the program I'm devising right now, I'm near certain i would have been able to see my talents through while avoiding many of the hardships I encountered as an undiagnosed untreated young adult.

Making lemonade out of them lemons I hope.. Watch this space. Exciting stuff soon to come. Peace

[lmprestige]

And I thought that Andre Agassi is crybaby
Barry Buss had a chance to get somewhere. Be something
Try immigrating to a new country with NOTHING
Getting a job
Paying rent
Supporting wife and newborn

[don_budge]

And I thought that Andre Agassi is crybaby
Barry Buss had a chance to get somewhere. Be something
Try immigrating to a new country with NOTHING
Getting a job
Paying rent
Supporting wife and newborn

You know what Imprestige...the story isn't over yet. One of the most compelling line in the entire series is..."You can get there from here". I have been thinking about this line since the series started. It must have something to do with the ending. You can get there from here. What an interesting thought when looking back in hindsight at one's life. I keep thinking about my own trials and tribulations too. What I did right...what mistakes I made. So far the series has been remarkably straight forwards without a hint of crying about the past. The words are delivered in a straight forwards manner with the author taking responsibility, yet writing about the factors that influenced his story.

Maybe you have another idea about life. Somehow human beings are perfect or somehow they all are compelled to never err. It has been my experience that in hindsight we are all looking somehow in the rearview mirror. Trying to figure out simultaneously...how did I get here and where am I going. My own case is an interesting example. I have suffered my share of setbacks. I have gotten the short end of the stick a couple of times. But more than that...I have been blessed. Those words stick in my mind...you can get there from here. There were times when I felt the weight of the world, but I didn't give up. I can identify with Barry. I can certainly relate to him. It hasn't been perfect, but it has been one whale of a ride. I cannot wait to find out how Barry gets there from there. Everyone has a saga. His is fascinating...to me. I can relate. Why don't you tell us a little about yourself Imprestige? Tell us your saga...about how you overcame against all odds. It will be interesting to see if you get a round of applause from the audience here on tennisplayer.net. I don't recognize you either and I certainly know all the players here in this neighborhood. Is this your first rodeo...here?

[barrybuss]

Don Budge, Thanks for all the thoughtful responses and coming to my defense here. Struggling isn't a contest, there is no hierarchy to it all. Just like truth, its all subjective. I was a very young person trying to deal with forces well beyond my or anyone else's control. My tennis story was never going to end well, it was a matter of when and not if I would implode. What makes in interesting I achieved some measurable success at our great sport before my resolve gave out. The pestering question for all who know my story is what could have been done to help such a talented troubled mess like myself back then and the truth is probably not a lot, social awareness just wasn't there for teenage alcoholism/addiction/mood disorders during my era. The important question is are the resources in place today? What happens if i show up on the campus of UCLA or Junior Davis Cup with all the same issues I had 40 years ago? Are there programs in place to keep promising young lives like mine from spiraling so out of control, for one important takeaway from my work has been the tennis journey is long, demanding and stressful, especially at the elite level i reached. If a player has some underlying mental health conditions, continuing to play a whole bunch of stressful tennis doesn't make matters better but demonstrably and in my case, dangerously worse, just ask Mardy Fish, Naomi Osaka, Nick Kyrgios and countless others who've lived this life. As a sport can we do better by our kids? We've left so much to chance for far too long. Can we prepare them for the rigors of the tennis life before they take hold? I've committed by remaining time here on Earth hoping to solve just that problem...

[don_budge]

Don Budge, Thanks for all the thoughtful responses and coming to my defense here. Struggling isn't a contest, there is no hierarchy to it all. Just like truth, its all subjective. I was a very young person trying to deal with forces well beyond my or anyone else's control. My tennis story was never going to end well, it was a matter of when and not if I would implode. What makes in interesting I achieved some measurable success at our great sport before my resolve gave out. The pestering question for all who know my story is what could have been done to help such a talented troubled mess like myself back then and the truth is probably not a lot, social awareness just wasn't there for teenage alcoholism/addiction/mood disorders during my era. The important question is are the resources in place today? What happens if i show up on the campus of UCLA or Junior Davis Cup with all the same issues I had 40 years ago? Are there programs in place to keep promising young lives like mine from spiraling so out of control, for one important takeaway from my work has been the tennis journey is long, demanding and stressful, especially at the elite level i reached. If a player has some underlying mental health conditions, continuing to play a whole bunch of stressful tennis doesn't make matters better but demonstrably and in my case, dangerously worse, just ask Mardy Fish, Naomi Osaka, Nick Kyrgios and countless others who've lived this life. As a sport can we do better by our kids? We've left so much to chance for far too long. Can we prepare them for the rigors of the tennis life before they take hold? I've committed by remaining time here on Earth hoping to solve just that problem...

Fascinating journey Barry. You can get there from here. I am looking forwards to the next chapter. Seriously...this may be the most fascinating story told here on this website. Thanks for sharing.

[don_budge]

image.png