A Tennis Family Portrait

[johnyandell]

Let's get your thoughts on Barry Buss' article "A Tennis Family Portrait"

[gazelle]

The Barry Buss article took my breath away. As always, you have the best content and more on your site.

[jeffreycounts]

Equally brutal and fascinating, Barry Buss' "Family Portrait" feels like something straight out of a Pat Conroy novel. Pretty heartbreaking to hear his Dad couldn't fork over the 10 lousy dollars after his kid got accepted into Mensa.

[barrybuss]

Thanks kindly everyone

Appreciate the kind words. I will be here and available to discuss any parts of my book or do my best to answer any questions you might have about the junior tennis, junior tennis parenting, or any aspect of the junior tennis development experience.

John will be publishing other chapters from my book in the months to come this summer, so don't be bashful, it's a very intriguing niche in the tennis world and I look forward to sharing my experience with you all soon..

[dipperhitter]

If you played junior tennis or have had or have a kid doing it and you have a grain of emotional sensitivity then you have at least felt a hint of the toxicity that this article shows in maximum form. It's kind of cool to perceive that the author has survived it, or that's what I get from his writing tone.

[barrybuss]

it was a photo finish

But yes, the author did survive it. One of the driving reasons behind writing the book was to give voice to the voiceless, namely all the junior players who make up junior tennis, and to let you all know in as unflinching of terms as possible, what the experience really was like for so many of us.

Coaches and tennis bureaucrats speak of junior development completely in the abstract, with so much talk about developing the child's game and so little about developing the child. What has resulted is a generation plus of somewhat traumatized adult former junior tennis players who have turned their backs completely from the sport that supposedly gave them so much.

In my research for the book, i would ask my peers who have children now why they chose not to put their own kids in to competitive tennis. The prevailing answer was I would never put my kid through "that"

My goal in my book is to better flesh out what the 'that" so many of my peers speak of and to start a dialogue about how to make the whole experience a healthier more life affirming venture.

For such a great sport, it just shouldn't have been or ever be the way it was for so many of us

[don_budge]

"The trick in life...is to manage the dysfunction"...dr. don_budge, tennis therapist

But yes, the author did survive it.

Well...I think that is the point in the end. To a lot of stories. Some of them more hard luck than others. Survival.

It's amazing that sometimes out of dysfunction comes a greater clarity. Afterall...it makes sense in a way. If you can find your way out of a confusing, mine laden maze wouldn't the lessons learned be more valuable that that of the straight and narrow path. Not always? Some of the time? One never knows...do they?

But most of all...thanks for sharing. Speaking of finding clarity...beating a record of Jimmy Connors takes quite a bit of clarity, I would say. Reading your story helps me to understand your article about making like Navy Seals after the "assassination of Osama Bin Laden" which I sort of questioned your judgement at the time. Do you remember me? I will bet you do with your "Mensa" like capabilities.

I really appreciate your language...sometimes it doesn't make any sense to beat around the bush. Telling it like it is gives it a reality...which it richly deserves. Tennis really isn't such a nice confrontation is it? We shake hands afterwards and I guess that beats burying your racquet into the other guys forehead when sometimes he may deserve that. Geoff Williams was lamenting as such in one of his weekend warrior tales not so long ago. Psychology Today once long ago compared tennis to fencing or playing with swords...the racquets represent the rapiers and the balls represent symbolically the testicles. Each player is trying to basically castrate the other. Ouch!

So it sort of goes with the territory...maybe it is best that we let the little ones grow up a bit in order that they are more in touch of their "inner warrior" before trying to force this primitive impulse down their little throats. I don't know...on the other hand maybe it's good nowadays to try and wake them up before they are totally brainwashed by their cell phone capabilities. Well everyone has dysfunction don't they...I guess the trick in life is to learn to manage it.

Thanks again...for sharing Barry. Looking forwards to more of the story.